Is My View On Tipping Servers Too Harsh?
Question by Myzyri: Is My View On Tipping Servers Too Harsh?
I went to dinner in Chicago, IL (USA) with a friend. After a horrible meal with horrible service, I decided not to leave a tip. My friend was outraged and told me I was being cheap. According to him, you always leave a 20% tip minimum.
This is how I tip and why:
25% or more: Server checks on us 2 or 3 times, doesn’t need to be asked for anything like drinks, napkins, etc. (This doesn’t happen often, but I still tip 25% if the server makes a small mistake and “takes care of it” on their own without me asking. They might give a free drink, free dessert, or remove the mistake item from the bill.) When dining with my kids, I also give a larger tip if the server does anything extra for the kids (brings crayons, paper, extra crackers, etc.).
20%: Server checks on us twice and keeps the drinks filled without us asking.
15%: Server checks on us once after delivering food.
10%: Server delivers food. Server delivers drinks only when flagged down and asked.
0%: Server takes our order, delivers the food, and is never seen again until she drops off a bill.
I take this approach to tipping because tipping is “gratuity.” It is my show of how grateful I am for the service. Taking an order, delivering food, and giving me a bill is expected every time you dine at a restaurant. That should not warrant a tip. Anything beyond the basic job description deserves a tip though. The more the server works to make my guests and I happy, the more willing I am to leave a larger tip.
So, is my view on tipping too harsh (or is my friend right and I should tip 20% every time no matter what)?
Thanks for your input!
Best answer:
Answer by Go Duck Yourself!
Yeah, your views are seriously wrong.
You should tip based on appearance and gender. If it’s a really hot woman, give her 25% and go down from there; zero percent being the 40 year old waitress at Sonic.
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a little harsh….. the minimum should be 8% as they are taxed on having received 8%. i would also speak with the server or the manager and explain the poor service. this will allow the server to know and hopefully get training or realize they need to change their attitude. if nothing is said they will just think you’re cheap and not know anything was wrong.
your friend is wrong.
I don’t think its harsh overall, but I would never leave noThing at all. Sometimes circumstances cause the lack of service. Leave a buck and a half at least!
You are extremely uptight. It has to be said. I’m sorry. Get over yourself. Tip every time you go to a restaurant, unless you enjoy being a cad. It’s that simple. I kind of feel sorry for your kids.
Your friend doesn’t know what he is talking about. TIP stands for ‘to insure promptness’
by automatically giving 20%, the only thing you are insuring is a waiter not having to work for their tip.
**Oh yeah, almost forgot, I don’t think your view is harsh. That is similar to what I base my tips on, but I don’t have a set rule for amount of times they visit our table like you do…
Better to leave one dime, if you leave nothing they will think someone took it, so leaving a dime gets your message across much better. your breakdown is essentially a good one, no server is entitled to tips, tips are for excellent service. TIPS=to insure prompt service.
For starters, there is no written rule that you have to leave a tip for bad service. You are right. It is a gratuity.
I would look at if there was a reason behind the bad service. Does it look like they are short-staffed and getting slammed with a dinner time rush? Then I’ll be more lenient as long as they at least check on me at some point and not leave me thirsty.
As for how much I tip, I’m still holding firm to a 15% for decent service. I think 25% is over the top for most cases.
If the service was horrible, hey, it was horrible. I don’t believe it is the customer’s duty to supplement the paycheck. Restaurants should be forced to pay minimum wage to their employees, but they get away with it.
I’m with you in principle, but American society has decided that you tip EVERY TIME you go out to eat, bad service or good. I think that’s crap. Serving is THIER JOB and tipping should be based on EXCEPTIONAL, above and beyond service. But that’s not what we’ve decided on as a society, so I play the game and tip. If the service is that bad, talk to the manager.
Your friends notion of 20% MINIMUM, everytime is just absurd.
Ok, since you have a whole table dedicated to the amount of tip a server gets, that’s a red flag of cheapery.
I was a server once and I know from personal experience that some times you just get swamped and you just can’t get around to every single table as much as you would like to. So that mans someone has to get a little less service than others. Now if the person was just F-ing around and not doing their job, I’ll tip about half what I normally do. If they do a decent to good job, 25-30%. If they do a great job and we plan on returning often 30+%. I know what it’s like to have to live off tips alone and it’s not easy.
Just keep in mind that everybody has bad days and this was probably one of theirs. Nobody expects you to do your job perfectly no matter how busy you are and then reduces your paycheck when you don’t perform as such.
EDIT:
I see a lot of the definition of the term TIPS (To Insure Prompt Service). That was coined back when you Tipped the server BEFORE they started, not after the meal (“TO ENSURE” not “TO REWARD”). If we’re going to use that, then ties were designed to be a napkin, not clothing decorations.
Ah, the modern sense of entitlement. I basically agree with your scale, pretty close to what I do. I very rarely leave NO tip but then again very rarely is that warranted. Even if someone screws up, it depends on how they address it. Do they explain what happened? (the food isn’t ready or was it left sitting there? did they take my order wrong or was it the kitchen’s fault?) Do they seem to genuinely care? Do they fix it promptly?
My theory is that just as I tip someone over the average when they do a great job then I should also tip a person UNDER the average when they do a crappy job. And there are varying degrees of both, it’s that simple.
People are quick to jump to the defense of servers (and yes I have been one) and I am positive that many great servers get stiffed at some point every day. Then again some fair or even crappy servers get the standard 15% or even 20% when they don’t deserve it. The thing is that if every server was tipped based on a scale like you have above then everyone would know what to do on both ends and it would be fair. But when that crappy server gets tipped well or decent enough then what motivation does he/she have to do better? Or do they even know what they are doing wrong? I for one wish there was like a checklist on the back of every check that would let the server know how you felt they did.
Your scale is terrific and I’m going to adopt it myself with one modification. As several have mentioned some amount of tipping has become another entitlement like getting out of work at exactly X o’clock. At the bottom end of the scale I’ll leave an 8-10% tip and write a note on the check such as “slow kitchen” or “you basically ignored us!” This is constructive, honest, and direct.
On the high end it’s great to reward truly exceptional performance. For example if a restaurant is spending 50 cents on child accommodation products like crayons and wax play string, recognize this spending on your kids and add a buck. After all nothing’s free! Truly outstanding servers will address kids by name and ask them what they want to order (with a nod from parents). The kids will feel like VIP’s!
Your friend is foolish and probably broke. If you’re spending $ 350/mo dining out then he’s talking $ 100/mo spent on tips (compounded and saved for decades $ 50/mo is like $ 1million). Hey you work hard for your money too, don’t give it away indiscriminately. Just because waiters/waitresses work hard doesn’t mean you’re a charity.